working with shame and self-criticism.

Shame is a painful awareness of self. It can be a fleeting feeling of embarrassment or a deep belief of feeling worthless or unlovable. Shame is one of the most painful emotion that we experience. Many of us work hard to protect ourselves from feeling it. Often, it is not the shame that causes us issues, but rather the behaviors we engage in to protect and defend against the pain of shame.

The goal of working with shame in therapy is to recognize and understand the role of shame, it’s roots, and the defenses used to avoid it. And to work to reduce the power of shame and lower defenses so we can strengthen our connections to ourselves and others, build confidence and improve our overall wellbeing. When working with shame, I use psychodynamic therapy to explore the roots of shame and defense mechanisms, Acceptance and commitment therapy to build emotional flexibility and challenge negative core beliefs, and compassion focused therapy to build compassion and kindness to yourself and others.